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Ever since I can remember I've always been obsessed, living mostly isolated for no apparent reason. I believe that these two aspects of my being determined the work I do. Obsessed with death, suffering,madness, isolation and my own mental and physical differences with respect to others and the emotions that these unanswered questions leave, or with an answer too painful to really want to know the answer to, I use photography as a means to exorcise my daemons, transforming them into images on a piece of paper, maybe trying to liberate myself in so doing. Basically, my work is about the search for myself, my way of understanding me and life, which at times does not seem to make much sense. This search for meaning goes back and forth all the time, from the physical to the spiritual. Riddled with guilt or remorse, at times I find myself free and quite content, periods during which everything appears to be as things ought to be. However, these moments of peace and serenity are only an oasis during which I rest and gather strength. I forget about everything and I live as I fantasize that the rest of the world lives; but not much time goes by when a renewed obsession for introspection - there must be something else I have to discover - leads me to a world filled with turbulence, of rarefied air in which it is hard to breathe, of hurrying against the clock imagining I have to find something which I don't know what it is, but that is waiting for me before I depart. A problem derived from the way I work almost always self absorbed in my inner world, has to do with money. It's hard for me to earn it, at least the basic for survival and to buy the materials which are needed to continue working, all this while trying to pursue winged horses. The images that I produce are many times quite intense, and with an air that is disturbing, which makes them hard to sell. However I have to live with that. One creates what one needs to create. As tortuous as my creative process appears, I can't imagine myself doing anything different from what I do, because this is my life. I don't know in which moment I was snared in by photography. I could say since I was a child, but that wouldn't be true, I actually don't recall any one moment, a starting point. My intuition tells me it has always been with me, sometimes as a blessing and at other times as a damnation. |
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